The Initial Interview
The initial interview is a critical time, a potentially graced moment of great importance for the whole rest of the process. Many of the people who come to us seeking help with a possible marriage case feel alienated from the Church. They may have even been away from practice a long period of time. Likely they are extremely nervous and ill at ease. Many may feel that the Church is going to condemn or blame them, and people may feel helpless or powerless because their “fate” is going to be entrusted to someone else’s hands.
Many different motives may have brought them to this point. Some may be hoping to enter a new marriage, may have a date in mind, and may be extremely resentful at having to go through any sort of process. Others may be coming more out of family pressure or even some coercion than anything else. Still others may be coming out of a genuine search for God’s will and a desire to clarify their conscience. Others may be seeking to enter the Catholic Church through the RCIA.
Whatever the motive bringing people to you, special sensitivity is needed. It is vital to present the process, whatever type of case may be needed, in a pastoral and spiritual context. If people can be helped to see that the Church has these requirements as a means of being faithful to Jesus Christ, it can put everything in a much healthier, less threatening framework.
Some Suggestions
The key is enabling the person’s story to emerge, and to listen not just for canonical purposes, but also for wider, ministerial purposes.
A. Initially, welcoming the person warmly and making sure they are comfortable is vital. You may want to invite people to join you in a simple prayer (e.g., the Lord’s Prayer) asking God to bless the two of you.
B. Some initial inquiry into what has brought the person to you is often a good place to start. Be affirming as much as you can. If people have come in the process of seeking baptism of a child, congratulate them on the new baby. If there are hopes for a new marriage, again congratulate them and promise to pray things go smoothly and that they can have a long and happy life together. This sort of initial empathy will help the person to see you are truly there to assist them.
C. Then invite people briefly to tell the story of their broken marriage, beginning with meeting and courtship on through the breakup (generally avoid terms like “failed” marriage, which sound more judgmental). Some people will be able to tell their story easily; others will need to be prompted. You may gently interrupt with occasional questions to bring out some facts or keep the story going, but for the most part do not try to obtain the whole picture at this point, just an overview. Often what the person feels is important to tell you can be revealing. Respond empathetically to any emotions this story may engender.
D. Make sure to get a complete marital history. There may have been more than one marriage, and a person may mistakenly think that one or more of them is not of interest (does not “count”).
Often people will mistakenly assume that if a marriage did not take place in the Catholic Church, it is not recognized by the Church. So be sure to ask whether a person has ever entered any sort of marital relationship, whether religious, civil or even common law.
Also be sure to ask whether a present spouse or prospective spouse has any sort of marital history. There may be need for additional cases in order to deal with the whole picture. We need to uncover these from the very beginning and to deal with all matters.
E. After the initial story has emerged, your primary task is to identify the options available to the person.
Thus, there may need to be some questioning to determine the types of cases which are possible, and to learn which avenue seems best if more than one is available.
The flow chart for helping to determine the best case type has
the kinds of questions needed, but normally do not simply pull out
the chart and go through it with the person. Be aware of what the chart
attempts to uncover, and elicit that information in a more sensitive,
less mechanical way.
3. As needed, write down dates and relevant factual information such
as the date and place of marriage, religious background and baptismal
status of both parties to the marriage, length of common life, number
of children, date and place of divorce.
F. Once you have identified the best type of case, explain that procedure to the person, its nature (nullity or dissolution), how the type of case fits into the Church’s understanding of marriage, and what is involved.
G. Begin completing the forms as necessary, and give a clear written list to the Petitioner with regard to what is needed in the way of certificates and documents.
H. Be sure to obtain the person’s name, address and phone number, and to create a file folder or envelope for your notes on the discussion, nature of the case, basic facts. This will enable you to follow up as needed.
- Christian Marriage and the Ministry of the Tribunal
- Frequently Asked Questions About Annulments
- How to Present a Case
- Law in Service of the Church
- For Non-Catholic Respondents
- For Parish Ministers
- Office of Canonical Services
- About Defects of Consent
- Spirit and Law Convention
- Bibliography
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