Communication Among and Between Parishioners
“In an information based organization the most important ‘DO? is to build the organization around information and communication instead of around hierarchy. Everybody in the non-profit organization— all the way up and all the way down—should be expected to take information seriously. Everyone needs to learn to ask two questions: What do I need to know to do my job? And: What information do I owe others so that they can do their job, in what form and when?”
-—Peter F. Drucker, Managing the Non-profit Organization
The three essential elements of communication are: the sender (speaker), the receiver (listener) and the message (meaning).
Listening: Being attentive to the verbal and non-verbal messages
- Pay attention to the speaker
- keep eye contact with the speaker
- avoid taking notes when one person is speaking
- listen for both the message and the meaning: what is the person telling you?
- What is the person saying about the situation that helps you understand their feeling as well as their ideas?
- ask questions that will clarify what you have heard ("You were saying that you felt that our parish needed to be more welcoming. Is there a specific way that you had in mind ?")
- listen for verbs since these indicate action. Most people want action.
- be aware of the non-verbal messages being sent. (Observe facial expressions and body language)
- if you are not sure about something, check it out with the speaker
Speaking: Make your message clear,
- Deliver accurate information
- Avoid general and sweeping statements.
- Limit your use of absolutes: words such as always, never, everyone, no one. Words that better define most situations are some, many, few, often, rarely, sometimes.
- Do not speak for the unnamed others (“some groups want to ....” or “some people feel that ....”)
- Be brief, no one really wants the long version of your story
- Avoid anecdotes and little shorts, people want substantive information
Speak for yourself and no one else
Make “I” statements, take ownership of your thoughts and suggestions (example: I think/feel/ believe...”. or “It has been my experience.....”)
Use provisional language
This is a softer way of delivering your message. It is an important tool when collaborating with peers. It may require some practice, since in other aspects of their lives the members of the Parish Pastoral Council or other parish groups may need to give instruction, make decisions or be in charge.
Normal manner of speech “We should take this course of action..” "This is the way to do it..” |
Using provisional language “I wonder if we might consider... “ “It might be beneficial to try...” |
These statements give insight into the direction in which the speaker would like the group to go but they also allow others to develop their own opinions about the recommendation. Provisional statements invite discussion.
Choose encouraging words to get action
Normal manner of speech There is not enough time It’s a risk What we have is good enough There is no way we can do all this work |
Using positive speech We will need to set priorities It’s an opportunity We can probably make it better We will need to set priorities |
Understanding: Message received
Be aware of your personal assumptions and biases, these are your personal filters of information
- Try not to assume that you know more than you do
- Hold your opinion lightly
- Be willing to be influenced
Ask sincere questions, ones that will increase your understanding(example: "can you tell me more about ....." or " I am not certain what you meant by... could you clarify.") Avoid questions that are meant to tell the person more about your opinion than to gather information (example: “have you gained weight?”) .
Synod Initiatives
- Evangelization and "The New Evangelization"
- Structures for Participation and Accountability
- Ongoing Education and Formation: Adults, Young Adults and Youth
- Ministry and Leadership: Lay, Consecrated Life and Ordained
- Eucharist and Sacramental Living
- Social Justice: Living at the Service of God's Reign
